Survivorship Above All Else
Survivorship isn’t a one size fits all effort that has an end date. There is no manual that teaches us how to process being victimized by a sex crime (molestation, rape, voyeurism, statutory, unwanted visual imagery) or navigate the life-long journey of survivorship. So, we each have to find our own means to successfully craft a healthy journey while we learn how to re-integrate ourselves back into society (and stay).
There’s no doubt that being a sexual assault or abuse survivor is hard. It can feel almost impossible at times, especially right after the (first) attack. Pair survivorship with victim blaming or society’s requirement for “nice” behavior and we could easily give up on ourselves. We can be so fragile…and, we have every right to be. We have every right to recognize that what was done to us wrong. We have every right to grieve and mourn for ourselves. We have every right to be angry. We have every right to make ourselves and our healing our very first priority, despite what [legacy] society says about practicing wellness and self care.
“Survivorship isn’t a one size fits all effort that has an end date.”
If we’re going to make it, we have to focus on our physical, mental and emotional health (wellness) in addition to how we ensure our health (self care). Doing both means recognizing ourselves while dismissing the negative societal perceptions regarding both:
Self Care - Our society has led us to believe that self care is something that is only for affluent people. The perception has been created that those of us who are not affluent and partake are somehow disingenuous or self-centered or nonproductive.
Wellness - Society has also led us to believe that focussing on our wellness is a momentary trend that only includes wearing yoga pants and drinking green smoothies while repeating mantras that reinforce toxic positivity.
We, victimized persons, have already fought the toughest battle and won! And, we have to ignore these false beliefs so that we can take better care of ourselves. This means we each have to make ourselves our first priority. This doesn’t mean that we ignore others. It means that we recognize our own needs and tend to those needs before tending to the needs of others. After all, we can’t properly care for others if we don’t care for ourselves. Practicing self care and ensuring wellness aren’t difficult or expensive. Here are some examples:
Sleeping 8 Hours per Night / Taking an Afternoon Nap
Drinking Water Daily
Avoiding Fried or Processed Foods
Writing in a Journal / Coloring / Knitting / Reading Daily
Exercising Daily (Run, Walk, Breathing, Boxing, etc.)
Expressing Your Feelings Daily (Cry, Laugh, Yell, etc.)
Connecting with Other Survivors