Every Parent's Blind Spot: Raising a Predator
When we talk about sexual violence, the focus is usually on protecting children from becoming victims. Although crucial, there is another side that requires just as much attention. There’s a side to the conversation that too often goes unspoken, and that’s the role parents play in ensuring their children don’t grow into sexual predators.
The uncomfortable truth is that predators aren’t simply “born bad.” Many are shaped by toxic socialization, unchecked behaviors of aggression or entitlement, and silence around issues of respect, consent, and empathy. The good news? Parents can change this. With proactive, intentional engagement, you can help your child develop the values and emotional intelligence needed to build healthy, respectful relationships.
Children absorb lessons from everywhere: home, school, media, peers, and society. When those lessons are filled with entitlement, objectification, or unchecked aggression, kids can grow up normalizing harmful behaviors. Without correction, those patterns solidify and show up in how your child engages with others. Parents are the first line of defense against this cycle. Here are some actions you can take today to help course correct:
1. Don’t Assume Your Child Isn’t a Potential Predator
It’s natural to believe “my child would never do that.” But ignoring the possibility is dangerous. Every predator was is someone’s child, and many grew up in loving homes where parents never imagined such behavior was possible. By assuming your child is exempt, you may overlook early warning signs or miss opportunities to correct harmful attitudes. Instead, approach parenting with vigilance and humility: have the hard conversations, set clear expectations around respect and consent, and hold your child accountable for their actions. Prevention begins with acknowledging that every child needs guidance—not just “other people’s kids.”
2. Talk About Consent, Bodily Autonomy, and Bodily Agency Early and Often
Don’t wait until your child is a teenager to talk about boundaries. From the time they’re young, teach them that “no means no” and that respecting others’ space and comfort is non-negotiable. Reinforce that consent applies to everything—hugging, sharing toys, and later, romantic relationships.
3. Model Respect in Everyday Life
Children mirror what they see. Show them through your actions how to treat others with dignity. Let them see you respecting your partner, using kind words, and apologizing when you’re wrong. These behaviors shape their default understanding of relationships.
4. Challenge Harmful Gender Norms
If your son hears “boys will be boys” when he’s aggressive, or your daughter hears “that’s just how guys are,” harmful stereotypes get reinforced. Instead, encourage empathy, emotional expression, and accountability in all children—regardless of gender.
5. Monitor Media and Peer Influence
Movies, music, and social media often glorify conquest and objectification. Talk with your kids about what they see and hear. Ask them questions like, “What do you think about how that character treated the other person?” These conversations teach critical thinking and help dismantle toxic messages.
6. Create a Safe Space for Honest Dialogue
Kids won’t always get it right. They need to know they can come to you with questions, mistakes, or uncomfortable feelings without fear of shame. Build trust so they learn with you, not from harmful peers or the internet.
Preventing sexual violence isn’t just about locking doors or warning children about “strangers.” It’s about raising a generation that knows how to respect boundaries, honor consent, and build healthy relationships. Parents have the power - and responsibility - to instill these values every single day to help create a safer society.
If we want fewer predators tomorrow, we must start shaping healthier kids today.
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