Victims to Survivors

The truth is…no one is coming to save us. We are responsible for saving ourselves. It seems impossible because we weren’t born with the knowledge of what to do after being victimized. The people in our lives don’t know what to do, that’s why they didn’t teach us.

Paired with the fact that wellness information and resources were only available to a select population of people, many of us survivors are left in a gap of ignorance that causes us extended suffering. No, it’s not fair. Yes, it sucks. No, nothing is going to change unless we change it for ourselves. Yes, we can make meaningful changes in our lives to pick ourselves back up and evolve from victims to survivors.

We own our stories. Despite there having been disruption by criminals who chose to violate us, we own our stories. We determine who we are in this and future moments. And, we dictate how the rest of our lives are going to go. It may not feel like it. But, we truly are in control of our feelings, who is in our lives, who we eat, where we go, what we do and how we live. We are in control of all of it. The trauma may make us feel like we’re not in control. But, we are truly in control of it all.

Understanding trauma is the bridge that connects feeling like we’re in control and being in control. The information legitimizes the disconnect that we may feel between ourselves and our bodies. Knowing that what we’re feeling is both real and justified lifts a lot of the confusion that we carry. Wondering if we’re crazy or our brains are making things up takes up a lot of space in our lives. It can also delay our progress in moving forward from being victims to survivors.

Trauma alters the structure and function of key areas, particularly the amygdala, hippocampus, and prefrontal cortex, leading to changes in how a person processes emotions, stores memories, and regulates behavior, potentially impacting their ability to learn, form relationships, and cope with stress; in essence, a traumatic experience can "rewire" the brain to prioritize survival mechanisms over rational thought when triggered by reminders of the trauma. It impacts our ability to: concentrate, regulate emotions, sleep, concentrate and learn. Trauma can also lead to: substance abuse issues, self harm, social withdrawal, and wellness responses that mirror those of diagnosed mental health issues. It’s the trauma that makes us feel misaligned.

Managing the trauma allows for alignment between being in control and feeling like we’re in control. Managing the trauma is very possible, but is going to take some work and a commitment to the long-term. Saving ourselves and ensuring our wellness is a marathon, not a sprint. It’s going to take some time and involve some tumultuous ups and downs. If we accept this fact, we’re already on our way to truly being in control.

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