Rewriting the Traumaversary

It’s such a difficult day for many of us. It’s the day that we were harmed so deeply that it caused us to no longer recognize ourselves or our lives. The traumaversary is the day that can be a constant reminder or the time our innocence was [first] taken…the day we were stolen from ourselves.

We’ve lived through the attack(s) and are working to survive or thrive despite it. Many people tell us to just move forward and try to forget about it. Those of us who receive help from mental health professionals are working through it so we can learn to live with it. The remainder of us have learned to build a life on the rubble that is the aftermath of the assault(s), and are able to move on despite periodic triggers/setbacks.

No matter where any of us is in our respective recovery journeys, we each have a traumaversary. It’s a day that can hold us captive with a grief of a life that we feel like we either no longer have or feel like we’ll never have. This grief is similar to the grief associated to the loss of a loved one. We have feelings of sorrow that can prevent us from leaving our homes.

But, what if we no longer just grieve on our traumaversaries? What if we grieved and celebrated the possibility of a new life that we can curate for ourselves? Instead of looking at the negative, we each can look toward the positive things we’ve done or want to do.

Instead of focusing on mourning, we could celebrate surviving another year. This could look like having cake with candles…maybe a number candle that has the number of years surviving or thriving; go to the movies then go someplace and have a nice meal; start a new health journey; or, take a class to learn something new. Anything can be done on the traumaversary to change the narrative of the day. For example, TL Robinson, GOTU Founder and CEO, started GOTU on her traumaversary. It was the beginning of a new way of thinking and feeling for her.

Big things can be on the horizon for each us if we are able to shift our way of thinking. Our respective traumaversaries don’t have to be about what we lost. They can be about what we hope to gain. Remember, recovering from the trauma is about reclaiming - not forgetting.

So, what are you going to do differently on your traumaversary?