2021 Recipient: Tracy Matheson
We sat down with Tracy Matheson, Founder of Project Beloved, of Ft. Worth, TX. She is married to the love of her life and parent to four amazing children. One of her children, Molly, is the inspiration for the founding of Project Beloved: The Molly Jane Mission. In the wake of unspeakable tragedy, Tracy was inspired to drive meaningful change in the survivorship community. Read more to learn why Tracy is a “Momma on a Mission”.
Tracy Matheson is a GOTU 2021 Crucial Point Award Recipient because of her tremendous activism in the space of providing survivor after care resources.
During our Q&A session with Tracy, we learned more about her work with Project Beloved and how she, as a survivor supporter, works on healing.
What was the catalyst for your work with Project Beloved?
April 10, 2017, I got a phone call one morning stating that Molly hadn’t shown up to work. It was highly unusual because Molly was always early. I went to her home to check on her and found that she was dead. To call it a nightmare is a gross understatement. She was home the night before, happy, healthy and looking forward to the week ahead with school and work. The police were called and their investigation began. The police later confirmed that she was the victim of a homicide and rape. I had to come to terms with the fact that my daughter died a violent death at the hands of someone else, someone known to law enforcement for raping and strangling women. This person was arrested and indicted on capital murder charges. To be honest, homicide was the last thing that I would’ve ever thought would have happened to her. I had to learn how to put the pieces together. It was then I knew that I had to do something. We had to use Molly’s story to bring awareness.
Share more about Project Beloved
We’re a non profit in the state of Texas. Our mission is to “Educate, advocate and collaborate to change the conversation about sexual assault and empower survivors to find their voices”. We have three initiatives:
Beloved Backpacks for survivors who go to the hospital for a forensic exam and their belongings are taken into evidence. It has the necessities to take a shower, brush their teeth, get dressed and walk out the hospital with the slightest amount of dignity when it feels like all is gone.
Soft Interview Rooms are a part of trauma informed response. It’s a multi-person seating space, that looks like it belongs in a living room. It’s not just a pretty room. We install these rooms to make it safer and more comfortable for survivors to give a statement. We don’t want to further retraumatize victims when they’re talking about something they already don’t want to talk about. So, survivors and police complete those interviews in a soft interview room. In 2020, we’ve installed 23 rooms across the country. We’re slated to install one room a month in 2021.
Scholarships at the University of Arkansas school within the school of social work. Molly was an enthusiastic razorback. So, it made sense to put the scholarship at this school. In 2019 and 2020 we awarded two scholarships, each year, in the amount of $2,200.
Was founding Project Beloved instinctual or was it based upon learning about sexual assault?
Looking back on my life and understanding who I am, who I’ve been becoming, I’m something of a fighter. When I find something that I’m passionate about, I take it on. I have two adopted sons from South Korea. When we were in the throws of that, I was a heavy advocate for adoption and spread the word about the power of adoption. I believe that everyone can support adoption in some way. And, when it came to what happened to Molly, I had to do something. I couldn’t just sit back and wait for normal - putting the pieces of my life back together. “Normal” no longer existed. There’s also a very heavy faith component [in my work]. I feel like God has ordered my steps and drawn me into this work, and how to best make an impact. I’m following His lead the best that I can. So, my work came naturally. I know it sounds odd, but I can’t imagine not doing this work.
What did it feel like when you decided to do this work and first share Molly’s story?
Part of me dealing with my grief and all that has happened is being transparent. So, I’ve always tried to be open and tell the truth about about Molly’s story. I won’t act like we’re this perfect family with no problems, or that everything is okay because it’s not. I have to be honest. Since what happened to Molly, I used social media to share my thoughts and feelings about what I was going though. I shared funny stories, sad stories, things that made me pound my fist. It felt good to be able to get it out to an audience that was compassionate and caring. From there, I’ve been invited to speak at conferences and worked with volunteers to put together the Beloved Bundles. So, I’ve had practice sharing the story and not fall apart. This allows people to hear me and not get caught up in my feelings. The story, Molly’s story, needs to be told.
What’s your proudest moment?
We got Molly Jane’s Law Passed in Texas. It helps us identify serial rapists and get them off of the street. Additionally, it makes me really proud when I hear from law enforcement or a SANE department and they’re asking to get a soft interview room or bundles. This means people are talking about Project Beloved and our services. People realize the value that we provide.
Have there been any instances where people didn’t receive your message with care?
I haven’t experienced that. Not that I’m aware of. But, learning how to navigate the media has been a learning process. Having reporters show up at my front door step wanting to talk to me and learning that what I say is going to be in a news article were things I had to learn how to navigate. I had to learn to be more prepared…be clear on what I’m going to say and what I’m not going to say. That was the biggest learning curve.
Why does healing look like to you?
Healing is not a black and white thing. It’s like, with grief, there’s this a continuum. I’m not sure there’s an end to grief. You’re just always on it, with all of its ups and downs. And, it looks different for each person. Over time, healing means that grief no longer has the power over you that it once had. I got to this place (via a suggestion) by focussing on gratitude. Gratitude isn’t something that comes naturally during times of crisis or trauma, so I had to be intentional in this act. At night, before falling asleep, I would go over the small things…anything I could wrap my brain around and refocus on the positive. Things like text messages from friends, a cup of coffee or seeing the sunrise would help me focus on the things that I still had in my life. Exercise, going for a walk and blasting music, and self care, choosing to be gentle with myself, were also vehicles for healing. Then, I turned back to professional counseling - the practice of EMDR. It helped me to not forget the trauma of losing Molly but it helped me to reframe it.
What do you want supporters to know about navigating this trauma?
First and foremost, you are not alone in your role [of supporting a survivor of sexual assault]. This crime has widespread impact but survivors and supporters tend to feel alone because we don’t talk about it. And, we don’t know how many people in our direct and distant social circles are impacted because we don’t talk about it. The truth is there is a whole community of people who understand the difficult path. There are so many moments - weak, shaky, uncomfortable- mixed together, but no one is alone in having these moments.
Connect with Tracy, learn more about Project Beloved or make a donation by visiting https://projectbeloved.org