2021 Recipient: Venkayla Haynes
Venkayla Haynes is a public speaker, civic coordinator and organizer. Her activism work in the space of giving a voice to and increasing visibility of sexual assault survivors has taken Venkayla to the White House where she has consulted the highest U.S. officials on the epidemic of rape, molestation, voyeurism and statutory crimes against underaged persons. Venkayla has a true passion for eradicating sexual violence. And despite the emotional heaviness of her field, she meets every opportunity to educate others with purpose and genuine joy to help others. Her energy is what caught our attention.
Venkayla Haynes is a GOTU 2021 Crucial Point Award Recipient for the political transformation that her work influences at organizational and political leadership levels
During a Q&A session with Venkayla, we learned more about Venkayla’s story and her thoughts on the current social landscape and its ability to better support persons victimized by sex crimes.
How did you get into the field of sexual assault activism?
I was assaulted while I was in college, by someone I thought was my friend. He was an athlete and well known so with that, I didn't receive any support from campus resources. Instead, I was victim-blamed and continuously ignored. I was unaware of my rights as a student so I had to educate myself. I then discovered a new sexual assault initiative that I wanted to get involved in - It's On Us. Through this initiative, I was able to serve on the It’s On Us’ inaugural Student Advisory Committee. Specifically in 2015, I helped lead a program that brought then Vice President Joe Biden to the college community to speak on the need to be educated and organized on the topic of sex crimes. This is where my activism started. After this experience, I went on to organize protests related to HB51; speak publicly to educate audiences about sexual assault and survivorship; and, hosting various events at colleges and K-12 schools that were committed to combatting sex crimes.
What has been your proudest moment as an activist?
A lot of times people think that the awards that I’ve received are my proudest moments. Being recognized by the NBA or the state of Georgia and all of these organizations. My proudest moment for me is starting and committing to my healing process. When I first started therapy before, it wasn’t consistent, I was in and out. I wasn’t ready to address my demons or address what I had been through, it was difficult confronting these things head on because I couldn’t change it - I wanted to run from it. To work through it and being able to talk through situations with my therapist and be open is the proudest moment. Before, I carried a lot of weight..the weight of the world on me. Even though it wasn’t, it felt like that on my shoulders. Since then, I noticed my demeanor changed. The way I speak up for myself has changed. My walk changed..the glow..I started to see it. Now, I feel happy, some sense of joy. Waking up in the morning makes me happy. I was very suicidal, very depressed. There was so much going on. Healing is my biggest accomplishment, waking up and being 100% committed to always choosing life is my biggest accomplishment.
What does healing look like and mean for you?
It’s definitely different for everyone. For me, it is addressing what’s going on in my life and being able to work through it, not running away from it. Being able to be okay and taking time for myself. It’s knowing when to disengage and when I need time to myself. When I don’t want to talk to anyone and be able to practice self care. Healing for me is self acceptance and not trying to be something that I’m not. Healing is just a beautiful journey. Healing is getting to my best self. It’s being better than who I was before; that person is not there anymore. I’m now doing the work to unpack my issues to become a better person.
What do you think is the shift that is needed to open up dialogue about sexual assault survivorship for the black community?
We have to be honest about the violence that is perpetuated in our own spaces - it’s real and it's time to break the cycle. I've seen and experienced victim blaming in spaces that I believed was safe for me and others. We need to educate ourselves on issues like this, we need to be more survivor and community centered, we need those resources, we need folks to hold themselves accountable. If we want these spaces to be safe, if we want survivors to feel safe enough to come forward, if we want to end violence - we have to do the work as well.
What does effective change look like for you with respect to activism for survivors?
To me, it means having more resources at local organizations that are survivor centered. It’s making sure that adequate resources are available to help survivors of violence. Whether it’s financial resources, therapy/counseling, relocation, help getting out of abusive relationships…we need to focus on resources that are survivor-centric. We need to focus on the survivor. Historically -whether it’s the immediate day, weeks, months - the focus is on the perpetrator and not the survivors. R.Kelly being the prime example of this. When the Surviving R. Kelly series came out, we had these women on tv, camera and social media being retraumatized, stalked and harassed by his community and followers. I don’t know if there was any support provided for these women (by the show producers or anyone). Were these women being consistently checked on? How many of these women received therapy? Were these women supported? Or, were they used for monetization? My issue is that we’re quick to monetize these womens’ stories. Survivors need to be okay and have a sense of community.
What do you think about the current climate of survivors coming forward?
If we say we’ve been sexually assaulted, we’ll be met with demands like “Prove it” or “Why did you put yourself in that situation?” Worse things are said, like “Well, who did it? Tell us their name or I don’t care.” And, the most common comment, “If it happened, then why haven’t you gone to the cops?’ It’s like we are forced to say more than what we need to say before people care. We need them to say, “I’m glad you’re okay.” It would be great to hear “Do you need anything?” But, people…they don’t say that. Instead of being concerned for survivors, they are concerned about the perpetrators. People go directly to the false allegation rhetoric. They don’t understand that men are more likely to be sexually assaulted than actually be accused of it.
The truth is that sexual assault is not about sex, it’s about power. When these celebrities and public figures get accused, people say that accusers want clout…It’s like, [they think] We’re putting our safety and emotional well being and livelihood on the line because I want clout!? It’s crazy to me. People really think that accusers come forward because we want to be famous. It’s ridiculous! Per one of my previous tweets, “Nobody cares about our trauma or what we’ve experienced until the trauma leads to our death”. The current climate feels like people really don’t care about our stories until they result in something so much worse. Do we see a shift in conversation? Absolutely, but that's mostly for white women.
What words of encouragement do you have for survivors?
I want survivors to know and understand that they truly aren’t alone. It can get better. Life has the possibility of being better. You can heal from this. You can be okay. It’s a life changing event. It’s very hard. But, we will get through it. There’s a community out there for you. You don’t have to be in it alone. Remember, even on your lowest days that you are loved, supported and definitely believed. And, there’s someone out there who will support you.
Interested in learning more about Venkayla’s insights? If so, here are two articles that she’s written for Forbes:
https://www.forbes.com/sites/civicnation/2019/04/30/reimagining-our-movement/?sh=1f81c4bb25db