The Healing Power of Healthy Relationships

Healing after sexual assault or sexual abuse is deeply personal. None of us who have been victimized will experience the same journey or path to recovery as anyone else. Regardless of our unique journeys, one consistent factor that makes a meaningful difference is the quality of our personal relationships with people we choose to keep in our lives.

Having healthy relationships is a key contributor to our being able to have healthy survivorship journeys, because healing does not happen in isolation. The people we trust can either reinforce our safety, dignity, and self-worth or make recovery even more difficult.

Healthy relationships create spaces where we are believed, respected, and supported without judgment. These relationships are built on trust, empathy, healthy communication, and mutual respect. They allow us, victimized persons, to share our experiences at our own pace, without pressure to disclose more than we are comfortable sharing (aka no demand for trauma porn).

For many of us, finding at least one person who is emotionally safe to confide in can become a turning point. Whether that person is a friend, family member, mentor, counselor, faith leader, or advocate, having someone who listens with compassion instead of questioning or blaming can reduce feelings of isolation and remind us that we are not alone.

Confiding in healthy, safe people also helps us challenge the shame and self-blame that too often follow people victimized via sexual violence. Sexual abuse and assault can distort how we view ourselves and others. Healthy relationships provide opportunities for us to rebuild trust, establish boundaries, and experience the kind of respect that every person deserves.

However, not every relationship contributes to healing. Some people may minimize our experiences, dismiss our emotions, pressure us to "move on," or violate our boundaries. Other people may unintentionally offer advice that centers their own discomfort rather than our needs. While these responses may not always come from malicious intent, they can leave us feeling misunderstood and unsupported.

This is why choosing who to confide in and questioning whether or not to have a close relationship with someone we wouldn’t confide in both matter. As victimized persons of either sexual assault or abuse, we deserve relationships where we feel emotionally and physically safe.

Before sharing personal experiences, it can be helpful to consider whether the other person consistently demonstrates respect, maintains confidentiality, listens without judgment, and honors boundaries. Healthy relationships are not perfect, but they are dependable, respectful, and grounded in care.

Building these connections may take time, especially because our trust has been deeply affected. That’s okay. Healing and recovery aren’t about rushing into relationships. They’re about gradually surrounding ourselves with people who consistently demonstrate that they are worthy of our trust.

Every single one of us deserves to be heard, believed, and supported. While no relationship can erase the harm that’s been done, healthy relationships can become powerful sources of strength, resilience, and hope throughout the healing and recovery processes.