Righteous Anger

Anger is one of the feelings that we have during survivorship. It can be so intense that it makes us harm ourselves or want to wreck things. We may literally feel like going into a room and break stuff…throw them across the room…punch holes into the walls…burn buildings down. It can be so consuming that it makes our muscles tight and bones hurt. Anger can also be mild that it makes us cry or just feel sad sometimes. This negative feeling can also be anything between the two extremes. Anger can stay for a long time or it can come and go in waves. Anger can interrupt our ability to function or it can sit with us, like a monkey on our backs, as we go on about our days. It’s unpredictable in how it will affect us but can also be predictable in when a trigger will make this feeling appear.

Our dance with anger can feel scary and invigorating. It can both empower us and make us feel small. We can be in control as we lose control. Anger is a powerful emotion that, if left uncontrolled, can consume and even destroy us. It’s important to connect with people or access professional resources, where possible, to learn how to constructively work through the feeling. We will be able to see that acknowledging our feelings can allow us to be ourselves…the version of us that recognizes the reality of things.

And, the reality is that this feeling of anger tells us that we know that we’re valuable. It reinforces that what was done to us was wrong and not our fault - sexual violence is wrong. The feeling confirms that we deserved to be cared for. We deserved to be kept safe.

So, keep the righteous anger. It’s our north star to make it through.

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