Choosing Life Again Through Meaningful Activity
After being victimized via sexual violence, it can feel as though life has been divided into two segments: life before the trauma and life are afterward. In those early days following the sexual assault or (initial) sexual abuse, and sometimes even years later, imagining enjoying anything again can be difficult. The activities that made us smile may seem unimportant, and trying something new can feel overwhelming and scary. Yet, one of the most meaningful ways we can initiate and nurture our respective healing and recovery journeys is by gently reconnecting with life through purposeful activities.
Healing and recovering aren’t about pretending the traumatic event was never done to us. It’s about reminding ourselves that what was done to us doesn’t have to define every moment of our lives that follows. When we engage in activities that bring us peace, curiosity, or even a brief moment of enjoyment, we are doing much more than passing the time. We are teaching our minds and bodies that there is still safety, beauty, and purpose to experience in the world. Whether we choose to read, garden, paint, exercise, volunteer, hike, dance, cook, journal, playing video games, or simply spend time in nature, each activity becomes a small declaration that our lives are still our own.
Trauma often convinces us to withdraw from the world. It tells us to isolate, avoid, and remain hypervigilant because it believes that’s the safest way to stay safe. While those responses are understandable, remaining disconnected can sometimes make post-traumatic symptoms feel even heavier. Finding meaningful activities creates opportunities to interrupt that cycle. Even if only for a few minutes, we allow ourselves to focus on something other than surviving.
It’s important to know that we don't have to start with grand goals. Healing and recovering rarely requires us to make giant leaps in order to realize change. More often, it invites us to take one small step, then another, and another. A ten-minute walk around the neighborhood, tending to a houseplant, completing a puzzle, or learning a new recipe may seem insignificant, but those moments accumulate. They help rebuild confidence, strengthen resilience, and remind us that progress is made through consistent actions over a period of time rather than a large perfect act.
Progress is more realistic when we choose activities for ourselves and not because someone else thinks we should enjoy them. Healing and recovery is deeply personal, and different for each of us. What restores one victimized person may not restore another, and that is perfectly okay. Our healing and recovery deserve to be rooted in our own unique interests, values, abilities, and pace. There is no right or wrong way to rediscover joy and embrace life.
As we continue moving forward, we may even find that the activities we enjoy become sources of connection with others. Joining a book club, taking an art class, volunteering in our communities, or participating in survivor-centered events can remind us that we’re not alone. Relationships built around shared interests often help restore trust, belonging, and hope…the qualities that trauma frequently tries to steal from us.
Most importantly, engaging in meaningful activities reminds us that we are more than what was done to us. We’re people with dreams, talents, passions, and futures worth investing in. And, every time we choose to participate in life, we challenge the belief that sexual violence has the final word.
As victimized persons, we deserve lives that are filled with more than just existing. We deserve lives filled with purpose, laughter, creativity, connection, and peace. While healing and recovering are distinctly different journeys, made up of a series of choices that gently guide us to being the version of ourselves post sexual assault or sexual abuse. One activity, one moment, and one day at a time, we can continue building lives that reflect not only our survival but also our resilience and our hope for what lies ahead.
Living Beyond™ Together
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What activity have you implemented into your daily life that has been most helpful?
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— The GOTU Community
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