2021 Recipient: Cheyenne Tyler Jacobs
Cheyenne Tyler Jacobs is a new-age renaissance woman. She’s an author, spoken word artist, public speaker, media creator and filmmaker - all in the spirit of uplifting and empowering marginalized groups. The skills acquired in each of these areas enables Cheyenne to connect with so many people, while respecting all intersections of humanity. As a social scholar who is ahead of her time, Cheyenne is able to consistently curate amazing social landscapes and deliver empathetic educational experiences.
Cheyenne Tyler Jacobs is a GOTU 2021 Crucial Point Award Recipient for her work in providing transformational education services to sexual assault survivors, survivor supporters, allies and all persons who believe they aren’t impacted by sex crimes.
During this Q &A, we sat down with Cheyenne learn her take on sexual assault survivorship and touch upon the social politics of sex crimes.
How did you get into activism?
Well, I attended a presentation on consent at William Paterson University for peer leader training and could not understand why there was a presentation at all. It was something, I felt that consent was something we should innately know, and it hurt me that people's boundaries and No’s were not being listened to. I would like to add that during this time, I was also struggling with my own survivorship journey. In 2017, one of the faculty from my university's Women’s Center approached me with an opportunity to work on a youth summit as a founding committee member. They needed council members to put together a summit in D.C. to prepare youth leaders to educate students at their (respective) highschools and colleges. At first, I actually did not apply although I was a survivor and working in prevention I felt I was not qualified but then on the day it was due I thought “what’s the worst that can happen?” Well, they actually accepted my application and I was one of the founding members of the #ThisGenSummit.
What is the focus of your work?
I want to talk about the generational trauma along with the trauma we experience as children and how it manifests into adulthood. I am interested in why concepts such as consent and body autonomy are not innate. I question why some of believe that they are owed people’s bodies? I wonder when did these narratives seep into us (as individuals) and why aren’t we unpacking and unlearning these toxic beliefs daily? Specifically, I want to understand the “why” of it all and how to dismantle it. I feel like I’m on the right path because the more people I meet, the more I realize that I’m having the right conversations. I have been able to create a strong community of advocates, survivors, and mentors to provoke these thoughts and continue these conversations centering the social narratives and constructs of sexual based violence. Because these conversations need to be surfaced and truly unpacked.
What has been the proudest moment of your work?
I was asked to be the keynote speaker at the Sexual Assault and Consent Summit hosted by Georgetown Day School. Summit planning members heard me speak during an event facilitated by End Rape on Campus. There, they were able to read some of my individual works. Resources later reached out and asked me to speak at different institutions and on panels with topics that centered around social constructs and narratives that perptuate sexual violence. Because of those opportunities, I’m getting confirmation that folks are listening and learning, especially the young people. It’s great to know that people are feeling seen and heard. Those are the moments that make me feel proud.
Do you think it’s fair to have expectations of sexual assault survivors?
I think it is unrealistic, traumatizing, and sometimes disgusting the way people expect survivors to come up with an immediate full plan that details what they are going to do next. I think people don’t understand the trauma that comes with sexual assault. They ask survivors for immediate labor and shame them for things such as not remembering every detail of the violation. I really want people to sit back and ask themselves why they have an immediate expectation for sexual assault survivors to make decisions and be “okay”.
What advice do you have for survivors?
Give yourself Grace. You are allowed to not know, change your mind, and feel all the feelings.
Remember that your story is real. People may try to make you question your experience, whether or not what happened to you “really happened”.
Even if it is one person, try and have that support. If it is not in your immediate circle I would encourage individuals to seek resources in their community.
If someone wants to take a legal route, ask yourself “what does justice mean for me?” Others may try to push their definition of justice on you, but remember their definition is not and does not have to be yours.
What do you want supporters to know?
I think that supporters must listen - just listen. Don’t go ahead of us (survivors). Be by our side. A lot of times, supporters want to help and think that they have the right answers. But, it’s not okay to assume that you know what is needed or what the best actions are for each individual victimized person. They should understand that it takes time for survivors to verbalize the violence that has been enacted upon them. So, supporters must know to go at the individual survivor's pace and understand the nuanced obstacles of survivorship, especially those who are institutionally oppressed. Don’t be a voice for survivors, give folks the platform to share their truth and speak for themselves.
Where can survivors go to get support?
One of the upsides of social media is that it is a database of support and organizations. That’s how I’ve met a lot of people who gave me support and allowed me to support them. They’re part of my community. And, when people reach out to me, I try to give them resources and organizations that are in their area based upon the relationships that I’ve made. I don’t have all of the answers or knowledge of all resources. But, I share what I do have.
Learn more about Cheyenne’s and read more of her work:
Instagram: @shewillspeak
Links: website: www.shewillspeak.com
Book: The Tragic Type of Beautiful
What Happens Now? The Conversation We Need to be Having. (Article for Army of Survivors)
The Oversexualiztion of Black Girls and Black Women (podcast: melanin sound wave)
Dinner Is Served (Spoken Word)
VoyageATL (article)