Changing The Lies We’re Told

Sexual assault and sexual abuse thrive in both silence and misinformation. For generations, myths have shaped how society understands sexual violence. These myths perpetuate the “acceptable victim” trope and influences who deserves compassion and who is believed while also promoting ignorance to isolate harmed persons, protect perpetrators, and discourage people from seeking help.

It’s time to rewrite societal norms by challenging these myths with facts:

Sexual violence only happens to certain kinds of people

Many of us are taught that young women walking alone at night or behaving recklessly are the people who are typically victimized. The truth is that sexual violence affects people of every age, gender, race, sexual identity, religion, disability status, and socioeconomic status and educational background. Children, older adults, men, women, transgender and nonbinary people, and people with disabilities can all become victims of sexual violence. No identity grants immunity from sexual assault or sexual abuse.

Strangers are the primary perpetrators

While assaults by strangers do occur, many victimized persons know the person(s) who have harmed us. Perpetrators are often intimate partners, family members, friends, classmates, coworkers, neighbors, coaches, or trusted authority figures. This reality can make disclosure especially difficult because we may fear losing our ability to support ourselves, disrupting relationships, losing community support, or simply not being believed.

Victims always fight back, scream, or immediately report the crime

Trauma does not follow a script. Some of us resist physically. Others freeze, comply in an attempt to survive, or become unable to speak. These are standard responses to overwhelming danger. Likewise, many of us delay reporting (or never report at all) for reasons ranging from fear and shame to concerns about retaliation, financial dependence, or previous negative experiences with institutions. A delayed disclosure does not diminish the truth of what was done.

What someone wears, drinks, posts online, or where they go causes sexual violence

Responsibility always rests with the person who chooses to violate another person's consent. Shifting blame onto those of us who have been victimized not only deepens our pain but also distracts from the accountability that belongs squarely with perpetrators.

False allegations are commonplace

While any false report is serious, research consistently shows that they are uncommon and occur at rates comparable to false reporting for many other crimes. The much larger problem is underreporting, with many survivors never coming forward due to fear of not being believed, stigma, or further trauma.

Life ends after sexual violence

The impact of trauma can be profound, and healing is rarely linear. Survivorship is not about "getting over it." It is about reclaiming agency, rebuilding safety, rediscovering joy, and defining a future that is not controlled by violence. Empowerment looks different for every single one of us For some, it means telling our story. For others, it means protecting our privacy. Some seek justice through legal systems, while others find healing through therapy, advocacy, art, spirituality, community, or simply learning to trust ourselves again.

As a society, we have a choice. We can continue repeating and practicing myths that silence those of us who have been victimized, or we can replace them with truth, compassion, and accountability. Every time we challenge a harmful stereotype, we better support victimized persons and weaken the culture that allows this social abuse to flourish.