Why Survivors Must Live Out Loud
Although it isn’t often openly discussed, the truth is painfully clear: society continually sends survivors of sexual violence the message that what happened to us is our fault.
This message is reinforced in countless ways—through the lack of accessible support resources, through covert social programming that normalizes victim blaming, and through government institutions that welcome (if not exalt) known predators into positions of power. Together, these forces create a loud, unmistakable narrative: sexual violence is the responsibility of the victimized person.
And so, after being violated, we’re expected to quietly move on. To stay silent. To remain invisible. This isn’t fair. It isn’t right. And it ignores decades of science and psychology that clearly explain how and why sexual violence happens. This silence, and this willful ignorance, must end.
We live in a society where many people don’t care about an issue unless it touches their own lives. Yet sexual violence does touch nearly everyone. In the United States, 1 in 3 women and 1 in 6 men will experience sexual violence in their lifetime. Despite these staggering numbers, this reality still isn’t enough to shake the masses awake.
High-profile court cases bring temporary outrage and inspire think pieces. But outrage fades. Articles stop trending. Survivors are left behind. Meaningful, lasting change doesn’t come. And, survivors are left out in the cold, once again.
The single most impactful way survivors can resist a system designed to protect predators and silence victims is to reclaim our humanity and live openly.
That means:
Acknowledging we are survivors and validating the harm caused.
Prioritizing our own needs and self-care.
Removing shame—because predators should own it, not us.
Connecting with and leaning on the survivorship community.
Utilizing mental health resources to heal, regain control, and thrive.
Living openly and out loud.
By doing this, we disrupt the narrative. We allow others to see that survivors are not abstract statistics but real people. They’ll see that we’re their neighbors, colleagues, friends, family and partners. Survivors span every age, culture, socioeconomic status, education level, and lifestyle. When others recognize themselves or their loved ones reflected in our stories, empathy becomes unavoidable. And empathy can spark the momentum for social change.
The goal is simple, but urgent: to change how society is socialized to think about sexual violence. We need awareness that fuels education, and education that demands both social and legal reform.
Survivors have always deserved more than silence and invisibility. By choosing to live out loud, we not only heal ourselves, we create the possibility of a future where the burden is shifted off survivors and placed where it belongs: on those who commit violence, and on the systems that enable them.
Join us in expanding our community of support. Share this post, via the below buttons, and tag a friend or ally who stands for healing and hope.
Image: Getty Images